Subway Smiles
In case you weren't aware, Seoul is a big city. It's a big city with all sorts of wonderful things. There are sweet buildings and public transportation options that, amazingly, manage to keep me from missing my truck. There are coffee shops galore and endless entertainment options. There's a beautiful river running through the city. There are stores and restaurants representing nations from all over the world. There are ridiculously smelly trees, countless and fabulous variations on rice, and great songs about odd things like "fantastic elastic."
And there are people. Swarms of people crowding into elevators with me and pushing past me to get on the subway. People sporting headphones who are transfixed by their fancy phones and portable TVs. People walking into me. People seeming to not notice me but also watching me when they think I don't see. People conversing all around me who might as well be speaking jibberish. Some days I'm acutely aware that I can be surrounded by people and yet be very, very alone.
I realize I am in a country with different "norms" and guidelines than what I knew on the other side of the world. Different things are respectful. Different people are to be shown respect. Different behaviors qualify as rude or disgusting. I know all of that, and most days I'm fine with all that. But occasionally the differences get to me. Occasionally, I wish I weren't the one who sticks out in a crowd. I wish someone would smile at me instead of stare at me.
Today, someone did smile. I was leaving the subway station and noticed her watching me. When she caught my eye, she grinned and waved and called out "hello!" in Korean. I wish she knew what a big deal that was. In about three seconds, she erased a couple days worth of pent-up frustration. And then that made it easier to remember that I'm not in America and shouldn't expect people to act like Americans. Seoul is a much better place when I remember that I'm the one who is different, not the millions of people who've always lived here.
And there are people. Swarms of people crowding into elevators with me and pushing past me to get on the subway. People sporting headphones who are transfixed by their fancy phones and portable TVs. People walking into me. People seeming to not notice me but also watching me when they think I don't see. People conversing all around me who might as well be speaking jibberish. Some days I'm acutely aware that I can be surrounded by people and yet be very, very alone.
I realize I am in a country with different "norms" and guidelines than what I knew on the other side of the world. Different things are respectful. Different people are to be shown respect. Different behaviors qualify as rude or disgusting. I know all of that, and most days I'm fine with all that. But occasionally the differences get to me. Occasionally, I wish I weren't the one who sticks out in a crowd. I wish someone would smile at me instead of stare at me.
Today, someone did smile. I was leaving the subway station and noticed her watching me. When she caught my eye, she grinned and waved and called out "hello!" in Korean. I wish she knew what a big deal that was. In about three seconds, she erased a couple days worth of pent-up frustration. And then that made it easier to remember that I'm not in America and shouldn't expect people to act like Americans. Seoul is a much better place when I remember that I'm the one who is different, not the millions of people who've always lived here.
Love you Lizzy! And I've had those frustrating days so many days. I had a Chinese guy reach out to me 2 days ago who wanted to have a conversation with me like I was a real person. I will cherish it for months until the next time it happens! They are just scared, they don't mean to be rude. Although it's tiring and almost always unrewarding, keep putting out the effort to smile and make little nice gestures to put them at ease... it makes it that much better for next foreigner that Asian person comes in contact with.
ReplyDeleteOlakolakolakolakolakolak so fantastic!
ReplyDeleteGlad you're enjoying yourself. :)
--Mark Z
It was really good to read your note. I know that sometimes it's difficult living here, but those days of "smiles" do make up for the days of annoyances or missing home. It's good to remember those feelings of being "alone" though; it's helpful when meeting others in the States who are visiting too, just like we were in Korea, and making them feel welcome :)
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